


I Don't Need It Anymore

by alanna_the_lionheart



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Development, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, Headcanon, Mild Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Romance, Scars, Short & Sweet, Short One Shot, Tattoo Removal, Tattoos, Touching, arrow 4x01, olicity - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-03
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-29 16:27:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5134634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alanna_the_lionheart/pseuds/alanna_the_lionheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s Oliver and Felicity’s first night in their new home. After christening their new bed, Felicity runs her fingers over Oliver’s dragon tattoo…and Oliver finally decides to tell her what it means. As he opens up to her about the past, Felicity discovers more about the man she loves, and Oliver discovers that he’s capable of letting go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Need It Anymore

**Author's Note:**

> Like everyone else, I was severely disappointed with how they handled Oliver’s removal of Shado’s tattoo in 4x01. This is my headcanon for how the tattoo removal went down, and it works as a sort of fixit for the scene we got. I’m choosing to believe this, because I refuse to believe the writers took something that should have been a meaningful experience between the two of them and made it into something Oliver just up and decided to do one day. There’s no way this wasn’t discussed between them. None.

**I Don’t Need It Anymore**

 

Oliver collapses next to her with a quiet groan, and Felicity sighs in contentment. It’s their first night in their new home, they’ve just christened the new bed, and Felicity can’t remember the last time she was this happy. Come to think of it, she’s pretty sure she’s _never_ been this happy.

 

She looks over at Oliver and finds the same contented look on his face that she knows is on her own. He’s lying on his stomach, staring at her quietly, and Felicity shifts onto her side so she can kiss him. Oliver sighs against her mouth, kissing her back lazily. She pulls away with a smile and settles onto the bed next to him. Her hand moves to his back of its own accord, gently massaging his shoulder, and Oliver closes his eyes and sighs.

 

She’s mapped his scars and tattoos and bruises so many times that she has him memorized. The sight and feel of his body is forever etched in her mind. No matter how much time she spends touching him she can never get enough. She can’t get enough of the feel of his skin under hers: slightly rough and careworn in places, but smooth in others; warm and strong and undeniably _him_. She can’t get enough of the way he sighs and melts under her touch, surrendering control and opening up to her in ways she never thought possible. More than anything, she can’t get enough of the fact that _this_ _is her life now_. That she gets to spend every day with him: talking to him, laughing with him, loving him….

 

And touching him.

 

Her touch elicits all kinds of reactions from him. She can make him smile with happiness, pant with need, or tremble with desire. She can make him laugh, make him groan, or make him cry out with pleasure. Every day she finds new places to touch him; discovers new things that he likes (he loves it when she kisses her way down his chest) or things he can’t stand (he’s surprisingly ticklish on the bottom of his feet; she found that one out the hard way).

 

Things weren’t always so perfect. There were times in the beginning where he would flinch at the feel of her hands on him. Times she touched spots that still hurt him, or scars that brought up painful memories; things he wasn’t ready to talk about. As the weeks went by, Oliver opened up more and more; not just to her touch, but to HER.

 

Felicity never pushed him to tell her about his past. She took what he offered her, listening patiently and offering words of reassurance and support and love when he needed them.

 

He’s told her about the scar on his pelvis and the burn along his lower back. He’s told her about the Chinese letters on his side and the Bratva tattoo on his chest.

 

He hasn’t told her about the dragon on his shoulder.

 

As with every other scar and mark on his body, Felicity hasn’t asked him what it means. Instead, she’s waited patiently for the day when he’s ready to tell her.

 

Tonight, on the first night in their new home, Felicity runs her fingers over the dragon, gently tracing its outline with her fingertips. Oliver breathes in deeply, then lets his breath out slowly. She stops, afraid she’s upset him. But Oliver just looks at her, and it’s clear that he’s steeling himself for something. Felicity gazes patiently back and waits.

 

It’s tonight that her patience is finally rewarded.

 

It’s tonight, on the first night of the start of their new life together, that Oliver finally tells her the story.

 

“Her name was Shado.”

 

It’s tonight, safe in bed under a sky filled with brilliant stars and the gentle sound of crickets, that Oliver tells her one of the most painful stories from his past.

 

She lies quietly next to him and listens. She runs her hands over him soothingly as he talks, touching his arm and his shoulder, his back and his neck. When he finally tells her about how Slade placed the tattoo on his back to remind him of his crimes, Felicity rubs gently at the dragon, wishing she could rub hard enough to make it disappear.

 

When Oliver’s done with the story, he lies next to her silently, waiting for her reaction.

 

Felicity’s never heard anything so sad. Oliver has _always_ blamed himself for everything; he’s always carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. Looking at the tattoo now, she realizes that that weight is actually literal.

 

Without thinking, she bends over and gently kisses his shoulder, right over the heart of the dragon, wishing desperately that she could kiss his pain away.

 

A slight gasp escapes him as her lips caress him softly, and he shivers under her touch.

 

_“Felicity….”_

 

Her heart clenches in her chest at the raw emotion in his voice; the loving, tender way he always says her name.

 

She pulls away slowly and breathes the first words she’s said in nearly ten minutes against his skin.

 

“This isn’t a tattoo, Oliver. It’s a scar.”

 

She pulls away to look at him, her hand still firmly planted on his shoulder. But when her gaze meets his she finds a determination in his eyes she didn’t expect to see.

 

“You’re right,” Oliver replies softly.

 

She had an argument ready on the tip of her tongue, and just like that it dies. Her mouth falls open slightly in shock. She can’t believe what she’s hearing.

 

“I…I am?” she asks in confusion. It’s not that Oliver’s never said those words to her before. She just never expected him to agree with her about _this_. She expected blame, and guilt, and self-pity. Instead he’s smiling at her warmly.

 

“You’re right,” he says again. “I can’t change what happened to Shado…and I need to learn to forgive myself.” Oliver reaches out and caresses her cheek with one hand. Felicity sighs, leaning into his touch, but she doesn’t let go of his shoulder. “I don’t want to live in the past anymore. I want to live in the present…and for the future. For _our_ future. I love you, Felicity.”

 

Felicity gasps at his words, and he smiles as he leans in and kisses her. She sighs against his lips and scoots closer to him. She lets go of his shoulder and grips the back of his head, running her fingers through his hair. Oliver moans against her mouth as he pulls away, both of them gasping for air.

 

“Oliver….”

 

She doesn’t know what to say. What _can_ she say?

 

In the end, she doesn’t say anything.

 

Instead, Oliver says five words that will mark the start of a new beginning: for him…and for them.

 

“I don’t need it anymore.”

 

* * *

 

The next day, the two of them look into tattoo removal.

 

Felicity goes with him to his first appointment.

 

And his second.

 

And his third, fourth, and fifth.

 

She goes with him each and every time and holds his hand. Felicity’s read that tattoo removal hurts more than getting tattoos in the first place, but Oliver never flinches. She knows he doesn’t need her to hold his hand, but she also knows that he appreciates it none the less.

 

After his final appointment, she takes him home and gently kisses the spot where the tattoo used to lie, breathing gently against his skin. No tattoo removal is perfect, and there’s a vague white mark where the tattoo used to be, but in every way that matters it’s nothing but a memory.

 

“Tell me again why you got it removed?” she asks quietly.

 

Oliver smiles fondly at her as he says, “I don’t need it anymore.”

 

Felicity’s never been prouder of him.

 

* * *

 

She asks him the same question countless times over the next few weeks, and months, and eventually years:

 

“Why’d you get this one removed?”

 

And she _never_ gets tired of his answer. Never gets tired of hearing about how he carries less blame and guilt on his shoulders. Never gets tired of hearing him say he’s finally learning to forgive himself. Never gets tired of hearing him tell her that he’s learned to let go, to move forward…to live.

 

Every once in awhile, lying next to him in bed, she’ll run her fingers over his left shoulder and ask him again.

 

“Why’d you get this one removed?”

 

Oliver always smiles at her as he answers: “I don’t need it anymore.”

 

And Felicity always smiles back at him knowingly, her chest swelling with love, with happiness…and with pride.

 

_…the end…_

**Author's Note:**

> And THAT is my answer to the scene we got in 4x01: I’m choosing to see the “why’d you get this one removed?...I don’t need it anymore” as kind of a “thing” they do. Based on the way she smiles at him, it seems like something they’ve discussed before. It’s a KNOWING smile. She’s heard this answer before. Her smile is one of happiness at his answer, but more than that it’s a smile of PRIDE: pride that Oliver’s grown enough that he can begin to let go of the past. She’s seen Oliver begin to let go of the past, seen him grow and change for the better, and she’s both happy for him and proud of him. Therefore I’m choosing to view this scene as something that’s happened between them many times before. I’m choosing to believe that they didn’t delve further into the scene because Oliver and Felicity have already done so off screen. I may be living in denial, but it’s quite nice here.


End file.
